OLDEST FEDERAL JUDGE DIES AT AGE 104 - ALL FUTURE TRIALS TO BE HELD BY SEANCE

This blog in passing recently noted that the oldest sitting Federal Judge is Judge Wesley Brown of Kansas whose one caveat is "no lengthy trials" which makes sense at age 104 and if your favorite Pinellas crime lawyer was that old he'd be avoiding lengthy trials too...Your Clearwater Criminal Defense Blog must now report that  Judge Wesley Brown died in his sleep several days ago.


At first it appeared that death might keep the longest serving federal judge in American history from continuing his work; however, according to his new law clerk - the deceased poet James Merrill - all future federal trials will be conducted by seance thru the services of the medium, Madame Sosostris, who despite having a bad cold is known as "the wisest woman in Europe with a wicked pack of cards."


Lawyers are further instructed to bring the Federal Rules of Evidence, Federal Rules of Procedure and Ouija Boards to all future hearings, status checks and trials. Please note that the Ouija boards are not to be used to make cell phone calls nor to make contact over the internet with other deceased Jurists or legal scholars during trials & hearings. 
Further, the Federal Court's jurisdiction has now been expanded to include all above, beyond and within the celestial heavens. If you need a Celestial Clearwater Defense Attorney feel free to have your clairvoyant contact me anytime.

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